December 18th, 2008

there!, Hello

Cringing and Musing...

So I arrived at work this morning to find preparations for the annual departmental December holiday party.

Music. Loud, Christmas country music (the least bothersome was a cover of John Lennon's "So This Is Christmas", which I woke up singing; my "Waaaaaar is ooooover / iiiiif you waaaaaant iiiiit / waaaaar iiis ooooover / iiiiif yoooouu waaaant iiiit..." probably drove T near to nuts). I mean loud. You want to do any work today? HA! LOUD! My neighbor stopped by to ask, "Do you mind if I turn that down?" and I replied WHAT? (cue laughtrack) LOUD.

Gets me to wondering...

If the metal band Disturbed decided to do a Christmas song, what might it sound like? I chuckle to myself over this, and wonder how their cover of Lennon's tune might go (they do delightful covers, after all; check out their versions of "Shout" from Tears for Fears or "Land of Confusion" from Genesis if ye have doubts).

Then, I imagine the lyrics of "Inside the Fire" redone to a Christmas theme... What might that be like?



Ho ho ho ho ho ho!

Ooooooh, Noel is rather cruel
she is thirty years old with a heart sized lump of coal
sever, now and forever
any hope of being Nice on my list of boys and girls

Noel, black hearted devil
Who has been rendered unable to be joyful
She is spiteful (though insightful)
Laces gifts and stockings with razors and cyanide

What's within the box you wonder
paper torn and ribbons sundered

there's no toy inside, no hob'horse to ride
opening these gifts invites only a painful doom
devilish good fun, some for everyone
Unleash her strife, take your turn at being lifeless for her

Santa will get the message
that murder is en vogue, so very popular this year
Christmas red hemmorages
will decorate cookies and chimneys far and near to here

Barbed wire, grist for the pyre
Santa hears the screams but can do nothing because
Noel, knows how to raise Hell
She has been plotting this vengeance for nigh on twenty years

What's within the box you wonder
paper torn and ribbons sundered

there's no toy inside, no hob'horse to ride
opening these gifts invites only a painful doom
devilish good fun, some for everyone
Unleash her strife, take your turn at being lifeless for her

there's no toy inside, no hob'horse to ride
opening these gifts invites only a painful doom
devilish good fun, some for everyone
Unleash her strife, take your turn at being lifeless for her

Noel, black hearted devil
Who has been rendered unable to be joyful
She is spiteful (though insightful)
Laces gifts and stockings with razors and cyanide




Now I want to sing this version for Rock Band...
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