June 20th, 2007

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Milking the Devil's Teat

Kind of gross story, but it's my body:

Did you know I had a cyst? It was on my back, near the lowest part of my right shoulder blade. I jokingly referred to this as my Devil's Teat -- a coupla hundred years ago, I may have been hanged or stoned to death for this little blemish.

I didn't know what the hell it was, so I went to the dermitologist, and the doctor told me: yep, it's a cyst. Later on, I found out it was a sebaceous cyst. Not infected or painful (though certainly uncomfortable), it's just a recepticle for lipids and fat-producing cell debris. Some days, it was larger than others.

Trista and I talked about maybe getting it surgically removed (which the dermitologist suggested, should the thing become too annoying). About two weeks ago, the teat started discharging. What comes out of cysts, you might wonder? Why sebum! At least that's the official term for the chunks of milk white, semi-solid material that squirted out the dual, old but never quite healed, pin holes (long story) of my cyst. In some ways, the cyst was like a nightmare zit, filled not with pus but multiple whiteheads. Push on it, and another chunk of glop came free. Now, as you can imagine, with this sucker on my back, I could not exactly squeeze this stuff out myself.

My wife, my savior. She milked that blasted teat for me, and I can't thank her enough. Afterward, it looked kind of like a deflated nipple. Two weeks later, it seems to be mostly healed. Thanks, Trista!

-- Dan