March 30th, 2005

there!, Hello

Awkwardness, Idleness and Attempts at Idle Shit-Chat

Last night, T, K and I attended a BiLeGa (Bisexual, Lesbian and Gay) Pride Dinner at Worcester Polytechnic Institute and I got to feel the inklings of disconnect. I tried the blather-chat thing (getting back into the getting to know strangers aspect of con going) and man did I feel awkward. That most of these people's ages were 18-22 was a little daunting too. Ah well. T and I were strangers, and tried to join conversation but what the hell was there to talk about? We got a lot of blank looks. The issue of shyness came up, and I batted that ball for a while. Kat's feeling is that shyness is a good thing. I disagreed because I remembered how fucking lonely I felt sitting off to the side, wanting to participate but unable to do so because, hey, I couldn't get over the shy-factor. I'm still shy. For me, it is a character flaw. I hate it, hate it, hate it. It's a constant struggle for me to overcome it, and it gets no easier. Still, I have to give myself points for trying. Then I have to dock a couple of those points for running out of conversation material.

Need to hone my people skills better, so I don't make a complete ass of myself at the WHC next week. I am looking forward to that... We're taking a couple of trains (Worcester to Boston to NYC). Hopefully it'll be a blast (the last one I attended was).

I have been a horny bugger of late. Spring must be in the air.

Writing is going well. I am obsessing over several projects, of late. Many of them are revisits to older material, which I am polishing up. I had some nifty ideas in those days, though the writing was quite amateur (embarrassingly so). Am I any better these days? I like to think so...

Let's see. We got Twin Peaks from England on Sunday. Yep, the UK version has the pilot (which has not been released in the US), so Trista finally got to see Laura Palmer wrapped in plastic. Watching the pilot was delightful, it still holds up after nearly fifteen years.

I bought Trista a copy of Poppy Brite's Prime for Easter. She finished it last night and giggled madly through parts of it, so I am heartily looking forward to it. Before I can delve into that, I must finish Fluke, which has entered delightfully-off-the-wall-bizarre-land, and Out, a Japanese thriller I borrowed from Kat. Too. Many. Books.
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