May 12th, 2004

there!, Hello

I Suffer Distractions

Really came to grips last night how my life is loaded with a pointless distraction. What is it? Shopping. Online, in the store, oh what the hell why not get that now... Because now I am up to my armpits in debt, and will have to sorely cut costs to get out of it, again. So, today is a new day, a first day for my new outlook on life. I've got help, and it won't be easy. I was spoiled when I was young, spoiled myself when I got older, and I haven't been without credit card debt for years. And I'm not talking, oh, a hundred bucks debt. Scary debts. Depressing debts. Debts that made me eradicate online accounts, and physically GIVE my credit cards to my spouse last night, because I don't trust myself with them. At least, I know they are now in good hands. My Trista is more money-smart than I.

Good news is: the diet Trista and I are on is working. We've both lost weight, we both feel good. All I need to do is push the diet willpower over to the frivolous spending, and everything will be good.

Reasons to save: I want to move out of Worcester in two years. I want a house, eventually. I've already got more books, movies, RPGs, etc. than I can feasibly use up in the next ten years.

Work is the worst place; I get a notion, I can just jump on the internet and buy, buy, buy (worse, order, order, order. Then I don't feel the sting until the bill comes in). Now, when I get a craving (oh, shopping is an addiction, so bizarre!) I'll email Trista. I expect I will flood her with emails, notes, etc. over the next couple of weeks. Well, on the bright side, it makes birthday/holiday shopping for me easier!
Okay, the time has come. I need to write things that will sell. I need to write fast and good. Crank them out and send them out the door. This doesn't eradicate Art, but it does help eradicate my lollygagging mentality. If I can't do this, I will have to ask to borrow money from the parents, and that sucks donkey shit (they're fine, and all too happy to help out, but I really hate feeling like I HAVE to ask).
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